The certificate on the publication є1908070196

CHAPTER 4

As usually after Mariyana will go to mother at it the psychosis began. It started to be nervous strongly, and to break on Andrey. As she did not drink alcohol, it accepted tranquilizers, referring, that is tablets from a head. Mariyana suffered from headaches, gastric pains, from loss of appetite, weight after meal, from pains in a breast, сердцебиений, dizzinesses, a delay of breath, weakness and pains in joints; she did not understand, that to it occurs. All these anxieties are caused by emotions, in 25 years to create a family very hard, especially when in a life whom did not love. Its symptoms are caused by emotions. And still she realised, that to it occurs.

Andrey always asked a question - why the stomach does not digest itself. When he eats a meat piece its digestive juice digests a piece of dead meat, but juice does not digest a stomach. Long emotional pressure can play the important role in illnesses. All these illnesses can occur from conscious or subconscious pressure. They which long are not finding satisfactions, from "the neoterminated affairs of the childhood".

Mariyana sat on a sofa, in uncombed and not a clear kind. "Nibbling" sunflower seeds, also talked to Andrey:

- Andrey you always should be at me that you preserved me. - the peel from sunflower seeds has stuck to her lip, and she tried to clean it, thus nervously speaking.

- I always near to you. - Andrey it is angry spoke, thus tried to smile.

- You do not look at me as on the woman, you look at me as on a thing. And this thing, of course, belongs to you. - with a clever kind, and with correctness in eyes, chewing sunflower seeds, Mariyana pronounced the text.

- A thing? These are all imaginations, to me do not tell. You have mixed, it to you in settlement to tell it is necessary. And me what for? I after all know that it not the truth, and you too know about it. So give calm down. - Andrey has ceased to understand how to explain Mariyane, everything, that he would like to tell to it. Therefore he spoke slowly, on the move thinking what to tell.

- At each thing the price is. - hinting, with a silly smile, spoke it is proud Mariyana

- You that, come round! Well and imaginations at you! - Andrey on гране a nervous breakdown, has started to call Mariyanu.

Mariyana has risen, has approached to a sideboard. Took a tablet, and has gone on kitchen that it to wash down with water. Andrey sat on an armchair and waited for it. When it has returned, Andrey has continued conversation:

- Tell to me, than to deserve your love? I after all love you, I love. - with conviction, a tender voice he spoke.

- And I here and? - With the artful person, with pride in a voice, correcting a bang, spoke Mariyana.

- Yes, the truth? You the small child. You do not understand that create? - Has asked Marjanu Andrey.

- Here the boredom mortal, I has got tired. I wish to live in settlement with you - Mariyana tried to begin to cry, but its voice gave out not sincerity.

- At you it is not a lot of duties, to prepare to eat and watch the child. I all for you do the rest. Only you forget, that I work, and you all time of the house. - Tried to explain Andrey.

- Here you also sit at home! And I for work want! I lose qualification! - almost shouted Mariyana. Hands at it shivered.

- And who will feed the child with chest milk? - The logical question was set by it Mariyane.

- There is an artificial feeding. - with a clever kind and shivering hands she answered Andrey.

- You likely have absolutely overheated. At you milk from a breast drips. What artificial feeding, give calm down. - more and more being surprised, spoke Andrey.

- I was bothered with all. I want for work or in settlement. I want freedom. - whispered Mariyana.

- It seems, the drama begins. That for work, in settlement. That freedom to it submit. You define, that you in general want. What you in general want? - He has asked Mariyanu. But the voice was equal, usual.

- What drama? What freedom? I wish to live easy. At my place the father did all, mum should not even look after it. - heatedly spoke Mariyana.

- About, at you слезки have appeared, you, what have decided circus to arrange? - He has asked Mariyanu and with astonishment looked at her eyes.

- Give to Penza we will move? There my parents nearby will be. - has offered Mariyana, looking Andrey in the face.

- What for to Penza to move? And my parents already nearby will not be. Where I and where Penza? - He has asked it.

- We will exchange the Leningrad apartment for the Penza apartment, and there we will happily live. - Mariyana, not penetrating into Andrey's words, insisted on the.

- I do not wish to live in Penza. I was born in Leningrad, here again I wish to die. You have agreed to live in Leningrad. What normal Ћенинградец will go to live to Penza - having put an end over silly dialogue, it is upset has spoken Andrey.

Е Mariyana was engaged in search of variants of exchange of apartment. She buys newspapers, and is constant them looks through. When it finds a suitable variant of an exchange, it shows them to Andrey. So it it is persevering within a month tried to convince Andrey, that it is necessary. Andrey was bothered with all this circus with exchange. And he has accurately explained Mariyane, that he to move where does not gather, and that Mariyane it is necessary - will calm down. Mariyana it is selfish, so it was brought up by mother. It has executed the primary goal, it has lawfully born child. It would be possible and divorce, but it was necessary to show to everything, that Andrey is guilty in all. As Andrey is obliged, will pay the alimony. And it will be not married, and its men will always solicit, and the main thing what obligations and responsibility. With whom you want with that and somersault in a bed. And if it is successful to find the muzhik from it it will be possible to draw out money. Its salary, the alimony, financial support of "lover" - than not business. And the main thing that all will regret mum the single. Thought Mariyane was pleasant, but as it to carry out all it yet did not imagine. Mariyana has begun with the small. It has limited employment by love in bed, and was engaged to it only in day of advance payment and in day of a pay, not expressing what feelings, two times a month. Thereby creating pressure at Andrey. It even more often showed aggression, and its reactions were not adequate to circumstances.

Mariyana has finished mutual relations with Andrey to the point of irrationality. Constantly on an empty place it made scandals. And when it has found an occasion, in Andrey's absence it takes away the child and leaves to the girlfriend. When Andrey has come from work home he has found out, that the wife and the son of the house is not present. It began to ring round Mariyaninых girlfriends. When he has found out Mariyanu, at one doubtful girlfriend them the phone conversation has taken place:

Е - Mum agrees that I have returned, with the son. - it is firm but, it is a little being afraid, spoke Mariyana.

- And here your mum?! Where your mum, and where my family?! - not shouting almost, has asked Andrey.

- There will arrive the daddy and I with the son will be taken away. - it is affirmative, with feeling of advantage and the superiority spoke Mariyana.

- And you have thought of the son, how it will be without the father? You consider: ЂThat motherЂ the whore їis pleasure for the child, and it will be necessary to another's personї. - Asked Andrey, but, not expecting the clever answer.

- I in marriage will leave, and it will have a careful father. - has thoughtfully told Mariyana, wiping sweat from a forehead.

- To whom another's child is necessary. With such задумками as at you, at it every year the new father will be. - having spoken, Andrey has thought of the words.

Is any more your business. And my private life you will not concern. - "was rude" Mariyana, a convincing impudent voice.

- At you private life will be only then when the child will grow up, and will rise on feet. Not that terrible that is my child? - He has "stupidly asked.

- As to me mother has told, that at us the state does not recognise the paternity right, and all its rights it is maintenance of the former wife with the alimony. For the alimony you can be planted, and here that I to you will not allow to communicate with the child to me not that will not be. - as lecture was read by her to it.

- Brad any. - Andrey Has grinned.

Andrey has heard short hooters in a telephone tube. He understood, that Mariyana as always is engaged шантажам.

Е there Has passed week. Andrey has learnt, when there will arrive Mariyanin the father. Has gone on the Moscow station what there to see Mariyanu with the son and the father-in-law, at the same time to talk to all. The normal behaviour consists in an effective utilisation of energy in the way approaching to the given situation for satisfaction of easily distinguished desires, directed on objects of the surrounding validity corresponding to them.

Andrey went on platform of the Moscow station. Looked around, looking around Mariyanu with the son. In the distance he has seen a train which all is closer, and came nearer to platform more close, and at Andrey pulse has started to amplify. When the train has stopped, and passengers began to leave it, Andrey to peer began even more strongly in people. After a while he has seen Mariyanu with the son on hands and nearby there was a father-in-law. It has gone to them on a meeting. When it has approached to them, they have stopped. Mariyana scaredly looked on Andrey. Andrey has shaken hands with the father-in-law, and has kissed Mariyanu with the son. They together have gone to the underground. While they went to the underground, Andrey has convinced the father-in-law that it is necessary to go home, instead of to girlfriend Marjany. Mariyana all road was silent. And in half an hour four of them have appeared at home. Andrey tried to discuss all problems that with the father-in-law, with Mariyanoy but who plainly did not talk to it. Andrey has laid down in a bed, the son already slept in the bed. And Mariyana with the father have sat down on kitchens, and under a tea cup have started to talk:

Е - I want home, I do not like to live here. I wish to divorce and live with you. The daddy you awake to be engaged in the grandson, you wanted the boy. Now the muzhik is not necessary to me. In due course can, someone and I will find to myself. Instead of I will find, means I will not find. - explained position Mariyana.

- You have wanted to marry for Andrey. You who did not force. You have insisted. And you any more twenty years then was, and you knew, on what went. - the father silently spoke.

- I did not know, that I to it will prepare, erase, be cleaned in apartment and so on. I not a doll, I decide, that I want. And at us in a family always you did all. Why I here should do something on the house. - surprised not in understanding of the position spoke Mariyana.

- Mariyana, you have married, have given birth to the child. At you the family was formed. So work, a mutual relation system in a family. Also do not dishonour me. And that you start to remind mother. - the father slowly spoke.

Е Next day. Mariyana as though not that has not occurred, were engaged in affairs on the house. Andrey with astonishment looked at it. Marinin the father played with the grandson, and was very happy. Mariyana pretended before the father, that it the mistress in the house, and that only it does one all. Andrey did not know, than to be engaged, after such stress. Two days before departure of the father, Mariyana has informed Andrey:

- Andrey, I have asked the father that it took with itself(himself) the son in settlement. And we will restore the relations. The grandfather with the grandmother too after all would like to stay with the grandson. And I will a little have a rest.

- Itself has thought up, or someone has prompted? - Asked Andrey, understanding, that in this situation it not that to change, cannot.

Is it is already solved unequivocally. I only inform you. Or my daddy with the son go to settlement, or I leave with them and we get divorced from you. So choose itself. - with metal in a voice and with special cruelty has told Mariyana.

- Perfectly well. A choice at me big. You understand, that all it is not correct, it is impossible so to do. - Andrey painfully smiled, while spoke.

- Here and well, I to the daddy will tell, that you agree. I then collect its things in road. - with pleasure said Mariyana.

- And dear Marjana seems to me. You simply do not wish to be engaged with the child, and it has bothered you. And all last time searched for an occasion that it to send to the grandfather with the grandmother in settlement. - he seriously and confidently spoke Mariyane, looking in its impudent eyes.

- You speak nonsense. You completely are not right. It at you sick imagination. - Mariyana spoke, and looked at a floor.

- I always am not right, when you are right. You the teacher, the teacher, the psychologist. You know all that correctly. Only you do all as to you favourably, and on bones human to go for you not the problem. You so learnt at pedagogical institute. - spoke thoughtfully Andrey.

Andrey has risen from a chair, and has gone to a bathroom to have a shave. And Mariyana celebrated in a shower a victory over Andrey.

Е In two days father Marjany has left with the grandson in settlement. Mariyana and Andrey now can be engaged, than will want. Partly they are given each other. Mariyana it has decided to be released from the previous life, she recollected all troubles and failures, and tried to define, why it occurred. She began to perceive the past as not existing and not occurring with it as though she has read all it in the book. She has decided to work really all problems the past with it, and destruction of emotions from them, and to realise, not to worry about those who was near to it and происшедших events. After that how many she would not recollect all vital failures, they did not cause in it negative emotion. Full disposal of the past, it was pledge of its mood and freedom. Mariyana tried to learn, not to estimate circumstances, and to accept a reality as is. She has decided to leave the belief, representations about herself and about people. Also has decided to leave belief as it is necessary and it is not necessary to live. It was always fenced, that in a family at them believers are not present, and she in the god does not trust. Mariyana has got to an illusory condition. Filling the mind, new representations, it more and more herself limited. Has devastated the mind from disbelief, mistrust, belief and knowledge. As a result it has broken the person into many small slices, therefore its conscience when did not torment, for it all has been admissible. At it in a head the whole collection of different persons, and they appeared depending on circumstances. The person is high-grade spiritually only then when in mind it does not have dissociation. And to restore again integrity very difficultly, and not all are capable of it.

Е Time went. Andrey went for work. Mariyana sat at home. And all the evening long they spent together. Mariyana was happy and tender. There was one lack, Mariyane it would not be desirable where to leave the house. It is ready to watch TV round the clock. She forgot to be cleaned at home, to make a dinner and many other things, that she forgot to do. But all to it escaped punishment.

- Andryusha have gone to sleep, I will kiss you. - spoke Mariyana a tender voice.

- Now I go, wait a little. I am yet ready. I should clean feathers. - he joyfully answered it.

- Andryusha you are fast? How many to wait it is possible? - The Same tender voice spoke Mariyana.

- A candy has wanted, that the patience does not suffice. Second wait. - with a smile spoke it Andrey.

- Ah, as I have got tired. I lose forces. Andryusha I have become bored of you. - knocking on a wall, spoke Mariyana.

- Do not lose force. I already treat to you. - heatedly spoke Andrey, stumbling in a corridor.

Andrey has sat down on bed edge, has removed a blanket with Mariyany, and began to examine it. Mariyana laid on a back, and its naked body impressed Andrey. Mariyana it is obliged to the beauty only to the genius created its image. It bears in herself an echo, Andrey's destinies. Spiritual creativity united them. Andrey's ideal was displayed in his eyes. The ideal of the harmonious and versatile person generated in this day inspired and attracted to itself. It is directly connected with it. Andrey has touched with lips her lips, and began to kiss gently it. Andrey's moral and art ideal, has embraced him, and, caressing a hand a neck opened eyes closed. In Andrey's shape, Mariyana saw the spiritualised and raised genius. Before her face there was a person lighted up by self-respect, riches of soul and complexity of intelligence, calmness and steadiness. They caressed each other hands, kissed lips a body Andrey could see and comprehend all complexity of human soul Mariyany. Andrey could transfer movements which have won малоподвижность Mariyany. They felt game of movements, the most thin transitions of caresses and ease of movement of a body. In this subtlety of love, a transparency of bodies, infinite elusiveness of nuances of mood. ¬орожение persons Marjany, escapes in the mystery, also as their bodies the friend on the friend slide, and thaw in love. During one moment person Marjany becomes a soul mirror, it is sated and revives in time. They which have got tired and happy, have fallen asleep.

Е Mariyana began to try to change Andrey by suggestion of new models of behaviour. She tried to conjure and hypnotise, under the books bought to it, that or a different way to build in new model of behaviour. It was not so simply. But it could not remove the reasons and roots of an initial problem. It is possible to force, of course, Andrey and its subconsciousness, and it will accept spread Mariyanoy behaviour models. But any spread models of behaviour cannot remove Andrey's model. At Mariyany it could turn out, if it has gone another by, that is simply rose before a problem, and it solved. The decision of a problem it not пересиливани¤ itself and not will power display. And Mariyanin a principle I should be stronger than a problem, in positive results did not result. At Mariyany all would turn out, if it could find its reason and eliminate that or a different way. All reasons were covered in most Mariyane, and she over herself did not wish to work. Attempts Mariyany to disaccustom completely Andrey to drink by means of hypnosis, and it to eliminate the reasons of drink did not want. It it is good for three years of a joint life has learnt to provoke Andrey. Therefore she was able, as it to constrain and to provoke to drink. And it considered illiteracy of people on this question. That however, to it allowed to manipulate an environment in the interests.

Е Mariyana with Andrey walked on a city. Andrey has pressed it to itself, feeling its breath, heart beat and they gently talked:

- I receive from you pleasure. I love you, I very strongly love you. - whispered Andrey to it on an ear.

- To me щекотно, clean hands. You do not have rights me to touch. Since what time I to you have resolved. - Grinned Mariyana.

- Since we have sent the son to your parents. You by the way have strongly changed. - Smiling, whispered on an ear Andrey.

- Do not think out. In the summer behind it it will be necessary to go. I always was such. You simply did not notice it. - speaking with a smile to ears, Mariyana nestled on Andrey.

- Listen, here that, you will go one, I cannot in the summer. - Andrey has in the affirmative told, scratching a forehead.

- Yes I also do not demand anything from you, I ask to regret me only. Well, have gone together. I wish to go with you. You hear me. Well, have gone. - coquettish tone spoke Mariyana.

- I can not. To me in the summer holiday will not give. It is necessary to you to one to go. At the same time from me you will have a rest. - embracing Mariyanu, Andrey has told.

- Make for me this favour, we will go together. I wish to go with you. - spoke Mariyana, driving a nose on Andrey's shoulder.

- You hear me or not?! - not shouting Almost, asked Andrey.

- Let strangers think, that I love you! - has shouted Mariyana on Andrey, with a sight of a boa.

- What for it to you? Again tablets надралась? - Asked Andrey with shivering hands.

- How what for? Unless I cannot be ambitious? - Laughing at Andrey, she asked it.

- Brad. Full delirium. - Andrey has answered.

- As you are opposite to me. You are opposite to me. I do not love you. - not crying almost spoke Mariyana.

- I any more do not understand your transitions in thoughts. You for five minutes pass for pleasure to tears.

- I have understood. Means, to me one to the Pine to go. It is less than expenses. You an animal. You the fascist. You hate me. You simply use me. Me it is not a pity to you. - Thoughtfully spoke Mariyana.

- I will wait for you. - Andrey has rigidly told.

- You awake us to wait? And what for? You do not love us? I too do not love you. - coquettishly spoke Mariyana.

- And for whom I still should wait? I love you.

So they walked on a city. Talking on different themes. Soon Mariyane to go for own son, but it is it oppressed. She already half a year had a rest from problems, it was not necessary to care of anybody, and all life was for itself. Andrey earns money, and Mariyana can easy descend in shop in the afternoon, something tasty to buy and eat, with anybody not sharing. Not to tell, that Mariyana did not love the son, it simply was the love not parent. Andrey with not patience waited, when his family will be restored, and they will be all together three together. Andrey considered always, that the family it when is the daddy, mum and I, instead of two spouses together.

© 2009 herring-klyoma.narod.ru.. The story - the story "the Herring under a fur coat". The E-mail address - herring-klyoma@yandex.ru. At use of materials source instructions "Klyoma asterisk in celestial abyss" and a hyperlink on http://herring-klyoma.narod.ru/ are obligatory.
© 2003 - 2009 klyoma. All rights reserved.                               © 2007-2009 klyoma.ru copyright. All rights reserved.